


tell me so i may paint an image of your face

by mydefaultisgay



Category: The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon
Genre: Epistolary, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:48:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mydefaultisgay/pseuds/mydefaultisgay
Summary: Ead and Sabran through the years.
Relationships: Sabran Berethnet/Eadaz du Zāla uq-Nāra
Comments: 17
Kudos: 96





	1. Chapter 1

> My Love, 
> 
> I write to you in the early hours of dawn, with the shy glint of morning light barely painting the sky. I meant to do this on a more appropriate time, but I confess that I could hardly keep the words that I've held on for many days. Katryen has not stirred when I rose from the bed, which I am thankful for. I did not want to ruin her slumber just because I could not contain myself. 
> 
> I miss you, Ead.
> 
> My hand has longed to write those words, and the drying of ink on parchment has not made the feeling any less insistent. And don't tell me it's only been weeks since you left Ascalon. I imagine you grinning wickedly as you tell me so, but I am aware that in that heart of yours you know that any stretch of time apart is a burden. That I should bear this weight for years is a darkness looming in my soul, but I must face it. You helped me reclaim the strength that I've always had, my love, the steel in my spine that I've forged myself and lost in the throes of my own misery. But now I've a firmer grip on this strength in me, with your aid, and I shall not fail you for faltering now. We have our people to lead. 
> 
> How was your travel? I have on good authority that the waters were kind when you boarded the _Rose Eternal_. Gian Harlowe wrote to me, can you believe it? Firstly, he informed me of your safety. Then he wrote a little bit about my mother and assured me that I shall find a most loyal subject in him. I sensed genuineness from the man I expected to be as hardened as the iron-clad ship he captains. He said he had always wanted to write to me after my mother died, but he blamed a hidden cowardice and a fear of condemnation should I take the slightest courtesy from him as an offense given the rumors about the nature of his relationship with my late mother. He said hearing you speak of me finally made him do it. Harlowe made no mention of it, but the possibility of him being my true father is a thin wire I dare not cross. There's no way of knowing, though I guess it matters not. I don't exactly know what to think of him yet, or of the letter he sent to me, but I believe myself touched by the gesture. War has softened me, I think.
> 
> So that is how I came to know that you fared well on your travel back to Lasia, at least the part when you were at sea. I have no doubt that there is no threat to your safety that you cannot thwart, but allow me to worry and ask for assurance.
> 
> Tell me about the Priory. Tell me everything, dearest, about gaining the position you've always dreamed of. Tell me so I may paint an image of your face, so that I may know whether your eyes brim with tears or you keep it rigid in front of your sisters that now look upon you as their leader. The people in court have intensated their praises and songs of your heroism now that you are not here standing like a pillar by my side as you stare darkly at any over enthusiastic courtier. Forgive me if I find great delight in there words. Can you really blame be for being proud of the woman I love? Sometimes Margret and I would find humor in it, too. The courtiers who never paid any real attention to you in all your years in court are now claiming that they know you well, or better than they truly do. The ones who also called you a witch now hail you as a legend. How I want to shut them up for good, and Margret quite agrees. I stop myself and conceal these dreadful and vengeful thoughts. It is too vile and I hate to disturb the peace that I now enioy.
> 
> Loth is set to return to Ascalon soon, bearing news of something he refused to reveal to me in his last letter. I hope his adventures have not made our dear friend too bold in his ideas.
> 
> The sun is beginning to rise and soon I would have to face the day and return to my duties again. I will end this letter with a promise of more and a hope that yours would arrive soon. I can hardly wait to hear from you. 
> 
> Love,
> 
> Sabran


	2. Chapter 2

_2 years after_

....

> Beloved,
> 
> Please do not fret. I am quite alright. Whatever word has reached you about our confrontation with Fýredel has been heightened to the extent that it is false enough to have you react in such a way as you did in your last letter. Our enemy is weak. He retreated his forces before we can slaughter them all for good. There's not a scratch in me, dearest. And you know I never lie to you. 
> 
> Now, I've heard tell about Loth and Queen Marosa. You did predict this, I remember, when we were gathered in Yscalin after our victory. Tell me, is our dear friend as besotted as the rumors make it seem? Is he the lovelorn Inysh lord that the people of Cárscaro whisper about, spewing poetry rich with longing for their queen? You know I have no tender feelings towards rumors but I admit all this talk about Loth has drawn laughter from me. Selfish as this may sound, I wish he gets on with it so I can have another excuse to see you again. It has been too long and I am a river running dry. Yes, I will go to Cárscaro to witness their union when it happens. As you know, the Priory has grown a strong relationship with Yscalin especially after we extended our aid to those plagued by the red sickness, and I would be remiss if I do not send an envoy, but I think I shall be there myself for this. Let the other foreign leaders be jealous, let them talk. Loth is my friend. And you will be there, too. I do hope, my dear, that this won't urge you to rush poor Loth into asking his love's hand.
> 
> This goes without saying, but I miss you. Deeply and truly.
> 
> Something interesting happened to me after our recent skirmish with Fýredel's pathetic army, if you can still call it one. An Inysh painter of great renown, who went South to find inspiration from the bountiful beauty of a foreign land, happened to be staying in the village that the Draconic creatures threatened to attack. He came up to me, his ashen face stained with tears, and went on his knees. So thankful was he of us that I had to cut off his speech about my greatness and helped him get back on his feet. We were only doing what we were sworn to do, I told him, but he would not hear any of it. The man wanted to repay me in some way, you see. I told him, not unkindly, that he had nothing to offer that could be of use to me. He was undeterred, and an idea came to him. I could see it in the way his face lit up like a torch. He said, "I will return to Inys and make my way to the court of Queen Sabran the Magnificent. I shall ask to paint the likeness of her majesty, if she permits me to do so, and give the portrait to you, great and mighty Eadaz, as a token of my thanks."
> 
> I've grown used to the fact that people speculate about the nature of our relationship. Some say we are lovers, though many people scoff at the very notion and insist that we are only great friends. But this man is a painter, one who probably adores embroidered versions of events. Rumors are vines that spread falsities in their wake, but sometimes their roots come from a sliver of truth.The painter's proposal made me stop in my tracks as words failed me. Chassar, with a smug smirk on his face, had spoken for me. He thanked the man for the offer but made no indication that I approve of it. Judging from the look on the man's face, I think he still might go through it. I'm not asking you to indulge him and give him your permission and your time so he could finish his needless quest of gratitude. I have thrived on the memory of you and will try to do so until the time comes that we shall meet again. But I would be lying if I say that the idea does not intrigue me. An image of you on my wall, brushstrokes of color struggling to be enough to capture the essence of you. It will either haunt me or fill me with a phantom bliss.
> 
> We will see each other soon, the matter of _when_ is up to Loth and the direction his heart takes him. I wish him happiness. I wish he doesn't delay it for his sake and ours. Again, I sound selfish for saying so, but I'm sure dear Loth understands. He always does.
> 
> Yours,
> 
> Ead


	3. Chapter 3

_5 years after_

.... 

> Dear Ead, 
> 
> I received a messenger from the Unceasing Emperor at court today. There is a chance that you have already spoken to the one he had sent to the Priory by the time you read this. If not, then I will tell you what he said. 
> 
> It has been five years since we forged our historic alliance and his Imperial Majesty invites us to his palace in the City of the Thousand Flowers to commemorate this, as well as to show his intentions to further strengthen the bond between our nations. I hope such an invitation would warrant the presence of the Eadaz uq-Nāra, she who vanquished the Nameless One. I know you will hate the attention they will lavish at you and Lady Tané, despite how much you deserve such praise. But I also know that you are passionate about widening the reach of the Priory beyond the South. I doubt that you will pass on this invitation. I'm right to believe so, aren't I? 
> 
> I have not seen you for a long while now, my love. Too long. Perhaps the ancient capital of the Empire of the Twelve Lakes is as beautiful as they say, and I wouldn't mind a short reprieve from my duties. Besides, I wouldn't be abandoning my people by sailing east, for it is a diplomatic responsibility i must fulfill. It just so happens that the Unceasing Emperor is known for his hospitalality and his messenger promises a luxurious welcome. To be able to indulge a brief escape with you by my side makes my soul flutter and my blood sing. 
> 
> I will keep this letter short, for I'm afraid I might end up rambling in the midst of my excitement.
> 
> As always, my heart is yours.
> 
> Love,
> 
> Sabran


	4. Chapter 4

_8 years after_

..... 

> My lovejay,
> 
>   
> I am sick with longing. So buried are we in our duties since we left the Unceasing Emperor's palace nearly three years ago that we have not seen each other again. Even our letters have been short of late, though none of us acknowledge it. I do not blame you, and I am certain that you do not bear me a grudge as well. But the years have finally caught up that even the fulfillment of my purpose as the Prioress cannot replace the void that yearns to be filled by you.
> 
> Forgive me if this sudden outpour came out of nowhere, but I am a woman starved. I know what true hunger is and I find myself reacquainted with it in our time apart. Too long we have distracted ourselves but at last even my own body protests, and now the distance between us is threatening to swallow me whole. If only I can fold the years so I may shorten them, scorch a thousand of my days to have the rest of them with you, but time is beyond my control. Even my siden could not wield it. So I will make do with a short visit.
> 
> I must see you. For one day or a few, it does not matter. I will come to you soon, my love. You have my word. 
> 
> Yours,
> 
> Ead


	5. Chapter 5

_10 years after_

...

Dear Loth, 

Don't be surprised that I wrote to you. I can imagine that face of yours scrunched up in equal parts delight and shock as you start to read this. Just because I abdicated and left Ascalon does not mean I will vanish from the face of the earth to completely abandon my friends. May I remind you that I bade Inys farewell on the best terms, and that you have not escaped this friendship quite yet. Expect Ead's letter to bear the same sentiment. Yes, she will be writing to you soon, do not be so shocked. 

You may be wondering where we are right now. To be honest with you Loth, I cannot satisfy you with an answer. Not because we would keep the information from you but because I've no clue where we would be by the time this letter reaches you. We have been travelling, you see. It was my idea. The notion would probably make you laugh since I'm not really one to go gallivanting around aimlessly. But perhaps you wouldn't laugh, instead you would understand. You know me too well so I would lean towards the latter. I've been caged almost all my life, you are well aware of this. A gilded cage, to be sure, and not lacking in luxury and riches in any way, but for the first time in my life I have gone outside the bars of my living cage. I can roam freely, unchained by a sham legacy and a duty. The only tether I have left is one that I forged myself, stronger than any link known to mankind. One that I share with the love of my life. Oh, what a sweet burden it is to be bound with someone whose heart's song is one with yours. But of course I do not have to explain this to you. 

If only you could see Ead. The years have been more than kind to your dear friend. The first time I saw her, not when I simply beheld her but truly saw her, ripe with the enlightened clarity only lovers posses, I thought of her as a brilliant sunbeam after a lifetime of gloom. Now, many years later, she is the sun incarnate. I wake up and it is her face that I see, and sometimes tears would threaten to flow from my eyes for housing such a burst of joy in my chest at the sight. All the flowers in the world can rot for all I care, as long as I have this woman by my side no other bloom can be pretty enough. I'm rambling, I know. You've always told me when we were young that I only ramble in letters and decades later I still live up to your assessment.

We are currently in Lasia as I write this but we'll be on our way as soon as the day begins. We are thinking of boarding a ship to cross the Abyss. Some time ago, Lady Tané extended a generous invitation for us to stay in her home for as long as we wish. We've heard her mansion is beautiful, and ever since the Great Edict has lifted Ead has wanted to take advantage of it and behold Seiiki for herself.

Make no mistake, we will visit you someday. And no, you may not know when this will be lest you'll make such a grand fuss over it. We'll be visiting as friends, not as a queen and a prioress. We don't hold titles anymore, other than being the most doting and loving aunts to your beautiful children. Don't tell Margret I said that.

  
Best,

Sabran


End file.
